The World According to Chuck

So, something happened to me on Monday. Suddenly, abruptly, swiftly, something. I went from feeling sort of odd and looking sort of gray to violent chills, fever and unconsciousness.

And then I got better, but it took most of the week. Whatever this was, it was puny but life force-sucking. I spent Tuesday either driving John around or sleeping. Wednesday was mildly better.

Yesterday I was back to my old self, so I cleaned the garage. And today we have another issue, the direct result of hauling an old beanbag from the back of the garage into the back of my van. It was a really big beanbag. And obviously I haven’t been working lately on strengthening my core.

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Sore back aside, I’ve decided to watch the Oscars this Sunday. It’s been years, and after thinking about it I think I know why. In the old days, when I really looked forward to Oscar night, I was really looking forward to snacks and beer. I don’t snack or drink beer these days, so it turned into four hours of “coming up next” and I passed.

Something made me set the DVR, though, not sure what. Usually I might manage to see two of the nominated films, but since this year they doubled the nominees to 10, I’ve seen two. Including the cartoon one. So that can’t be it.

I was going to be sarcastic and say, “The last time a movie changed my life was never” but then I realized that once a movie did actually change my life, or at least provided the final inspiration for me to do something that was sort of life changing. Although it’s a little embarrassing to talk about.

I have no dog in this race. Would it be nice if Sandra Bullock won an Oscar? For Sandra, sure. And I sort of like Sandra, although she makes some godawful movies sometimes (although not “Miss Congeniality”).

I’ve heard that James Cameron is a jerk, although he at least sounds articulate and intelligent, as compared to Quentin Tarentino, who sounds like an ill-informed minor Muppet character.

Is “The Hurt Locker” representative of some sort of reality in the Iraq war? Is “Avatar” the future of filmmaking? Is “Up In The Air” going to be the legacy movie, the one that we look back on as truly showing what it was like back in 2009 before we all got fired via Skype?

Seriously? I think they ought to give the Oscar to “Up” because it was cute. Avoid drama.

Anyway, coming from someone who doesn’t follow any of this I might as well watch the damn show, assuming I still have a bad back and can’t do any more garage detail for a while, and I might as well make predictions because people do that. Place your bets. I guarantee these are guesses.

Picture: The Hurt Locker

Director: Kathryn Bigelow

Actor: Jeff Bridges

Actress: Gabourey Sidibe

Supporting Actor: Woody Harrelson

Supporting Actress: Anna Kendrick

Animated: Coraline

Remember: No snacks, no beer, no beanbags.