It’s been nearly 3-1/2 weeks since I took my friend to the emergency department. It was bitter cold back then, and today it was in the upper 70s, a reminder of the time passed. As if I needed one.

He’s doing better in many ways, although sleep is still an issue and he’s lost some appetite and subsequently some weight. Weight loss, no matter how convenient it is when caused by illness, is not helpful in this kind of situation. Once a day, I bring him a tiny container of strawberry ice cream, and today I brought him some cinnamon mini-donuts, hoping for a sweet-tooth surge.

And Wednesday I’m picking him up at the facility and transporting him to a couple of doctor appointments, saving him another cabulance invoice and giving me a chance to ask questions and take some notes. And another on Thursday, with his oncologist, an appointment request that came in today while I was visiting him and caused him some concern, or wryness. This doesn’t look good, he said, although neither of us has any way of knowing that, or anything else.

The next step is back to the OR for knee surgery, a staged revision of his total knee replacement. He’s moving fairly well, if weak and deconditioned, and might actually be able to come home if they postpone surgery for a while, if only to save his Medicare rehab days for recovery. We don’t really know, though, and won’t until Wednesday.

I’ve learned quite a bit this season about all of this, although not much in terms of medical stuff. This is all about me, and how I handle obligation, and why. A good therapist could probably delineate these reasons, line them up like ducks and pick them off one by one, but I don’t have a good therapist at the moment and I can probably figure it out, assuming I want to spend the time. Don’t really have the time.