Julie said I should put this graphic some place I won't forget. That means every place, these days.
I've never actually made this graphic before, and even though I've been aware it's different seeing it this way. These represent this past week, this past month, and this past year, top to bottom. The green is normal blood oxygen. The red is the obvious opposites.
Here's the thing -- I haven't been able to get a medical professional to pay attention to this. I suspect it's because they think patients know nothing (this is usually true), but even if I want to place blame Covid is the culprit. And general practice physicians don't normally deal with hypoxemia (i.e., low levels of O2 in the blood; hypoxia means in the tissues, but hypoxia can be the end result of hypoxemia if that makes sense).
At any rate, it's a comedy of errors, with a brain-damaged patient trying to manage his own neurologic care. I've been a patient advocate all of my life, ask my family. I'm the one everyone calls. I'm the one who sat with my neighbor a few years ago when his wife passed to go through her medical records with him and explain everything. I'm betting at least a couple of you are the same way.
Julie is on my side but she has to work, and also, you know, they cut into her frontal lobe 15 years ago. She has enough problems staying on top of herself.
I dunno then. I'm getting aggressive now, after a lecture from my therapist. My memory and cognitive problems are so much worse. It's so hard to describe, too. I don't recognize common objects sometimes. I forget how to do things I always do. I've been trying to help out church with their newsletter, been doing it for years, but now I get lost in the menus. I write wrong words. And the whole thing stresses me out and it still seems like I can't get people to listen to me.
Come on. I get horrible leg cramps and restless legs at night. My entire body aches a lot of the time. My balance, my pain, my brain, my gut -- this is not a hard connection for me to make, although I do understand the inclination to treat every issue separately.
But I can't anymore. It sounds theatrical and very dramatic to say that I now have brain damage caused by hypoxemia, but it's pretty damn dramatic when I can't figure out how to use the microwave. I need help and I need to ask for it better.
I'm going to ask for oxygen to at least see if that helps. So this is kind of a note to myself, this post. Feel free to ask me if I've done what I said I'd do, because these days it's a legit question.